A downer

I guess I could write it down, I guess I could tell the wife, but I guess im writing it here, no one sees my blog, yet all the ppl that see it dont know me in real life.
I know Im in that stage again, I can feel the rebound, I can feel my shirts getting alittle tighter, so why the fuck am i not doing anything about it.

I can blame many things but I should be blaming myself, last night wife had work from 4pm, thats give the whole night to binge eat. 11pm I'm still hungry I go and rent some dvds out, get some snacks from the convience store, Im eating like a pig, I think for a second and then what the hell to it. All gone

I'm in that cycle, that frame of mind, that bullshit that I cant get out, should I ask a friendly site to help me, for them to judge me? should I?

I really need to get out of this place that Im in, do it do it now, U need to stop, stop taking money out with u, stop at stopping at convience stores, start eating healthier, start drinking more water. greentea, start EXERCISING! START GOING FOR THEM WALKS, START GOING TO THE GYM.
I have 4hr free time today between lesssons Ive packed my bags for the gym, now it depends if I will go or not, I want to go but does this sickness, Is it a sickness is it me being silly. Probably but I need to change, really I can see me falling back to the same stage 2 years ago where i lost the weight and then place it back on b4 I heading back to England.

Im typing coz I just scaled myself and im 136.8kg fuck! A shocker a downer, Im gutted.
I know the wife suppects ive put weight on, i know she knows. I have to stop now.

Ill report here tomorrow andtell u if ive changed, (fingers crossed)

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Just a quick update, eat much healthier today, I think im still eating too much white bread.
Banana on toast no butter and a kiwi, 12noon Odon and rice, Banana, 3pm Apple, 4.30 banana sandwich (2 slices of bread) 7.30pm Chicken on white bread (2 slices)

Didnt go to the gym too bloody cold but planning to go for a walk this evening..